30. The Gift of Transformation

“One is free from depression when self-esteem is based on the authenticity of one’s own feelings and not on the possession of certain qualities.”

— Alice Miller

Healing shame and doubt transforms our lives from a drudgery to be endured into a joyful creation filled with magic and delight. Developing and trusting inner authority gives us a source of power and direction that can never be taken from us - regardless of the external circumstances.

There is no safety.

Maturity and integration as a Soul Sovereign being requires giving up the idea of safety in the world. Instead, we develop the self-esteem, belief and trust in the Self as a nurturing inner parent. The future is not known and is not assured. The world is never free from challenge, criticism, misunderstanding, rejection and possible failure. If it was, there would be nothing to do, nothing to learn, no reason to get out of bed.

There are no guarantees…

… except for the capable presence of the Soul Self.

The core of esteem and power comes from building, over time, the reliance on a soul Self that allows and welcomes all aspects of your Self. This core Self is dependable and reliable and gives safe space to allow you to feel your feelings and process them without resorting to excessive expressions of energy or the collapse of holding in.

The Sovereign Soul Self will never abandon you.

This sense of reliable self can only develop over time with patience, love, forgiveness, acceptance and allowance for who you are. You are embarking on a purposeful journey to reconnect to your powerful inner nurturing parent. This is a relationship that will need time and trust to come to fruition and will not be a linear pathway forward.

The great gift of Solar Plexus transformation is not that you become someone else (unless you want to) or do vastly different things (unless you want to). The gift is the source of energetic Self that reflects to you your value and worth of Being, regardless of what external situations or plans are made or fail.

Become the adult you needed as a child.

A relationship with the nurturing Inner Parent reminds you in stressful times that you can manage anything that comes your way and that you are supported and will have the energy to handle it.

The next step is to begin the relationship and work with your energy body. Practice coming into trust with who you are and how you interact with the world.

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And here are some beautiful people that showed up to tell us we’re not alone.

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The Practice

• Deficient Energy Practice

  Through the practice last week, you determined whether your energy is deficient or excessive or both.

  Deficient Energy Practice requires building your energy and allowing expression of energy when appropriate.

  • doing this will help lethargy. We need to move to increase the movement of 
energy in our bodies

    • dance, gentle movement

    • 
punchy kicking, hitting pillows

    • making plans and following through with plans brings energy into a depleted system.

  • start small and simple

    • 
allow no criticism of self if you don’t do it right away or isn’t perfect

    • see yourself as a small child learning something new

  • safe expression of anger

    • expressing rage allows room for new energy to come into the body system

    • blocked anger blocks all energy movement

    • express energy into voice notes or journal or shout into pillow

    • give expression in some way to what is making you rageful

    • allow the body to express rage

    • balled up fists, punching, pounding - whatever feels like the right safe movement to do

  • be gentle with yourself

  • take breaks as you need them and be the gentle, nurturing parent you needed when you were little

• Excessive Energy Practice

  • ground and settle and hold energy

    • yoga, meditation, calming nature walks

    • deep breathing

    • tapping exercises

    • impulse control - deep breathing and counting before acting

  • be mindful of energy patterns and situations that trigger excessive need to control, do, plan, act - “get things done / be productive / accomplish task”

    • schedule doing nothing

    • playing, creating

    • non-goal oriented play and creation

  • allow the energy to flow through your body without doing anything with it

    • just be with the feelings and breathe and allow them to be there

• Mixed Energy Practice

  • develop a nurturing inner parent (for both excessive and deficient)

  • trust in self to parent lethargy + excessive

    • make and stick to plans, goals

    • identify when need to calm, take a break

    • develop self-discipline by getting in touch with inner guardian

    • child/guardian dialogue 
(a)

    • find out what your little child neeeds from you as a guardian

    • we fear not only that we will be rejected / not good enough by the world - but that we will reject ourselves when it happens

    • assure your little self that you will not abandon yourself when you are afraid or hurt

    • don’t abandon yourself when you are afraid or hurt